A Season of Growth

Though the blog has been quite, this past year has been a season of growth for me. God has met me in ways I never would have imagined. I continue to learn how his love abounds for me and yet I still can't grasp the depth of it. Even when my life circumstances are unsteady God is sovereign; he provides exactly what I need when I need it. He is transforming my heart to be even more compassionate, empathetic, forgiving, and merciful. I don't know yet what he has in store for me but I know it is something quite large and unimaginable. It's terrifying yet exciting to think of what the future might hold; I have found that I continually need to remind myself of God's great love as I shudder at his mightiness. Even though the Lord has revealed to me that he has great plans for my life, I tend to get lost in worries when I see that circumstances and resources don't seem to be adding up in a way that would promote success. I struggle with a very real fear of suffering and discomfort. I am afraid that God will call me to suffer greatly and or to die for him. I guess that means that I am still holding onto my own dreams, my own desires for what I want my life to be. I know that God does not forget me, that he won't forsake me, and I have assurance of heaven. But for some reason I long for assurance that my life here on earth will be good. I'm not really sure where this fear comes from. God has already told me that he has great plans and is well on the path to carrying out those plans for me. I need to ask the Lord to take this fear away and give me assurance of his protection, and love for me. I also need a reminder that I was not made for this world, no, I was made to dwell in safety; to walk alongside my God in peace. 
Hebrews 6:10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. 
Hebrews 6:17-20 So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek. 
Blessings,  Hillary