The Quiet Place

What does it mean to "take up your cross"? Well, I'm finding that taking up my cross means completely submitting to God. It means letting him cut all the things off of me that need to go. It also means obeying what God has asked of me and letting things go when He says "no, my daughter, this isn't for you". Each of these things are challenging in their own way. That last one though, that has been the hardest for me. Yet, in all of the pruning, the pulling out and cutting off; I am still grateful, and I am still blessed. I'm still grateful because I know that God disciplines those he loves, I know that when he disciplines me it's because I'm HIS daughter. I'm grateful because I know that the pain of the pruning leads to an abundant life. It leads to a better Hillary, a better follower of Christ, and a better kingdom builder. It brings God more Glory, and it fills me overflowing with His spirit of peace and joy.  Taking up my cross...

God is at work in me constantly. I am feeling that truth right now more than ever before. He continues to baffle me with his love and mysterious ways. He continues to speak to me things I feel unworthy to know, teach me things I am most grateful to learn. Today I wanted to take some time and share with you what is happening in my heart right now. The past few weeks or maybe even before that, I have been dealing with a big bear called anxiety. Anxiety started to grasp me so much that it was difficult for me to get through the work day. At one point I even debated cutting my day short a few times. I never did leave the office but the consideration of it because of anxiety was definitely a red flag. You could say that this anxiety was brought on by a plethora of things but generally speaking it seems that my current life challenges were overwhelming me. Even though walking through this challenge of anxiety has been completely not fun and at times extremely hard; I am grateful for what ...

Today has been a crazy day. But tonight as I sit in my quiet home in front of my pretty Christmas tree, I am feeling very thankful. I am so thankful for God's grace and love for me. I am thankful that he meets me right where I am. I am thankful he looks at me as his beloved daughter, imperfect but beautiful. I'm very grateful that in the chaos God is my peace and focus. I'm thankful that he is teaching me more of who he is every day. I am thankful of his great love for me and each one of us. I'm grateful that he loves everyone more than I love them. I am thankful he is deeply compassionate and abounding in love. I am grateful he gives me everything I need exactly when I need it. His provision is perfect and he does not fail me. I feel so blessed that God has done so much in my life that I could not remember it all to write down.  God is our Hope. God is enormous Blessing. God is true.  God is faithful. God is compassionate. God is full of mercy. God is ...

Though the blog has been quite, this past year has been a season of growth for me. God has met me in ways I never would have imagined. I continue to learn how his love abounds for me and yet I still can't grasp the depth of it. Even when my life circumstances are unsteady God is sovereign; he provides exactly what I need when I need it. He is transforming my heart to be even more compassionate, empathetic, forgiving, and merciful. I don't know yet what he has in store for me but I know it is something quite large and unimaginable. It's terrifying yet exciting to think of what the future might hold; I have found that I continually need to remind myself of God's great love as I shudder at his mightiness. Even though the Lord has revealed to me that he has great plans for my life, I tend to get lost in worries when I see that circumstances and resources don't seem to be adding up in a way that would promote success. I struggle with a very real fear of suffering and di...

You can learn a lot about yourself when things go wrong. This week I had to have my car towed to a mechanic. I have been without it for 5 days and will be for another 2 days. It was extremely stressful to not have my car. I had to figure out how I was going to get to work without a vehicle. And I didn't know how I was going to afford the repairs it needed. BUT God. But God worked everything out. God provided - quickly, conveniently, and blessedly. Between roommates, co-workers, and friends I had a ride to and from work everyday. I was able to go grocery shopping, spend time with friends, and get to church this morning. God knew exactly what I needed before I asked him for it and provided more abundantly then my needs called for. He just poured out his love on me. Feeling BLESSED and LOVED greatly this week.  Philippians 4:19 And God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works fo...

What a radical concept that God would see our need for him to experience earth as we do, that he sent His One and ONLY son here that we would have someone who is "able to sympathize with our weaknesses"   This time of year, we celebrate the birth of Jesus and I really want to communicate to you, maybe in a new, more able to grasp kind of way, the depth and weight of the significance of this event. The thing that came to mind today when I was thinking of the birth of Jesus was the song "What Child is This".  What Child is This What child is this, who, laid to rest, On Mary's lap is sleeping? Whom angels greet with anthems sweet, While shepherds watch are keeping? This, this is Christ the King, Whom shepherds guard and angels sing: Haste, haste to bring Him laud, The babe, the son of Mary. Why lies He in such mean estate, Where ox and donkeys are feeding? Good Christians, fear, for sinners here The silent Word is p...

Something I've been learning this week is that amidst the struggle, God is sovereign. God used a brave young woman from my church to help teach me that. Last night I watched this sermon from a favorite series my church did back in January. On the link I posted, this sister of ours shares her testimony and struggle. The most powerful thing for me from that sermon was that she dared to share her struggle while currently in the midst of it. And though she is struggling, God has used her life to teach and transform the lives of a great many. If that is not a testimony to how great the grace, mercy, and power of our God is, I don't know what is. Moreover, it shows the unlimited grace given to us for our struggle through Christ's sacrifice on the cross. "But think about this: while we were wasting our lives in sin, God revealed His powerful love to us in a tangible display—the Anointed One died for us." Romans 5:8 VOICE Dear sister, God's grace is suffic...

image via unsplash This, is a passage I love.  " Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly  we are being renewed  day by day.     For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. "  2 Corinthians 4:16-17  This single passage has the power to change my perspective on life completely around. It reminds me that I am not alone in my hardships or struggle to live as Christ calls me. It reminds me that I was not made for this broken world and thus my reward and eternal peace will come in eternity. In that which I hope.  Christ offers us a Crazy love. And lately God has been loving me like crazy. Even in the midst of tough circumstances, God is showing up just to say "I love you", "I'm here", "You are not alone in this", "I know it hurts, but trust me. This is for your good". These words are a great comfort to m...

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.  Matthew 4:4 If you’re looking to dig deeper, you can find the original context of this verse here   Deuteronomy 8 The other night I watched an online church sermon that spoke to my heart in so many ways. Today Matthew 4:4 came to mind and I have to say that I have really been feeling that hunger for Jesus lately. I've been so hungry to understand him more, to seek what he wants from me.  This is one of the passages that was shared in that Sermon... Do you not know? Have you not heard? The  Lord  is the everlasting God,     the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary,     and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary     and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and wea...

Happy August! This month's theme is... I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26  This is one of the first verses that I came across when I started out to write this post. At first I wasn't sure how I would relate it to this month's theme, but after some thought, I've realized that this verse is perfect for August. If you've been keeping up with the blog, you have probably heard me mention about a thousand times this year that life has been a bit hard for me. A lot of that has to do with what God has been doing in my heart. During my time at Grad school, God brought me out into the wilderness where I was alone. And as you can imagine, being alone is a really difficult thing. Some say that loneliness is the worst feeling in the world to live with. But what I realize now is that God brought me to that broken place so that he could ...