The Quiet Place

This is the question I heard God ask me when my circumstances changed and it didn't look like God's promises were going to be fulfilled. The truth is it's easy to say that we trust God but when opportunity presents itself, how do we really act? Do we crumble in fear and despair? Do we give up and "get over it"? Or Do we gather both sides of our dress in our hands and keep walking forward despite the deep mud because we know who are Father is and we know the promises that he has made us? The truly faithful option is to keep walking. That is true trust in God. True trust is fixing our eyes on Jesus and not on the events around us. True trust is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  In Joshua Chapter Three, the Israelites found themselves in an opportunity to trust God... Crossing the Jordan 3  Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before cro...

Lately God has been working on my heart in regards to fear and trust. Today we took my niece to the playground and I wanted to share some of my reflections on our time there today.   The BIG Blue Slide Today I went down the BIG Blue slide. It is the tallest and fastest slide at the playground. I went down the slide because I had been following my 4-year-old niece around and I didn't feel much like climbing back down the ladders we had climbed to get up to the top.  Partly because they didn't seem that easy to get back down (especially for an adult), and partly because the temperature outside was quickly approaching 90 degrees and it was easier to slide then climb back down in the heat. As I sat down at the top of the slide, I had no fear, but I wasn't too much in the mood to be sliding. So, reluctantly, I let go of the sides and pushed myself through the tunnel. What I didn't expect was to not like the slide so much that I let out a scream. Yes, you heard...

Trust. Trusting God. It's the easiest AND hardest thing to do. The easiest because I know of God's faithfulness in keeping His promises. I'm sure of what I hope for, and certain of what I do not yet see. It's the HARDEST thing for me to do because like many humans, I like to be in control of my circumstances and do anything in my power to shape them the way I want them to go. This in itself neither good nor bad, but when presented with a situation where I need to trust God, I have to keep myself in check. I have to ask myself, "Are you trusting God, or are you trying to control the situation?". It's easy to drive myself crazy analyzing what has occurred, trying to diagnose it like a mysterious disease. So, I can't go there. I have to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. I do this by keeping my mind stayed on his Word; reminding myself that His plans for me are good, that he can bring good out of all things, and that God works for the good of those who love him...

God is at work in me constantly. I am feeling that truth right now more than ever before. He continues to baffle me with his love and mysterious ways. He continues to speak to me things I feel unworthy to know, teach me things I am most grateful to learn. Today I wanted to take some time and share with you what is happening in my heart right now. The past few weeks or maybe even before that, I have been dealing with a big bear called anxiety. Anxiety started to grasp me so much that it was difficult for me to get through the work day. At one point I even debated cutting my day short a few times. I never did leave the office but the consideration of it because of anxiety was definitely a red flag. You could say that this anxiety was brought on by a plethora of things but generally speaking it seems that my current life challenges were overwhelming me. Even though walking through this challenge of anxiety has been completely not fun and at times extremely hard; I am grateful for what ...

Though the blog has been quite, this past year has been a season of growth for me. God has met me in ways I never would have imagined. I continue to learn how his love abounds for me and yet I still can't grasp the depth of it. Even when my life circumstances are unsteady God is sovereign; he provides exactly what I need when I need it. He is transforming my heart to be even more compassionate, empathetic, forgiving, and merciful. I don't know yet what he has in store for me but I know it is something quite large and unimaginable. It's terrifying yet exciting to think of what the future might hold; I have found that I continually need to remind myself of God's great love as I shudder at his mightiness. Even though the Lord has revealed to me that he has great plans for my life, I tend to get lost in worries when I see that circumstances and resources don't seem to be adding up in a way that would promote success. I struggle with a very real fear of suffering and di...

You can learn a lot about yourself when things go wrong. This week I had to have my car towed to a mechanic. I have been without it for 5 days and will be for another 2 days. It was extremely stressful to not have my car. I had to figure out how I was going to get to work without a vehicle. And I didn't know how I was going to afford the repairs it needed. BUT God. But God worked everything out. God provided - quickly, conveniently, and blessedly. Between roommates, co-workers, and friends I had a ride to and from work everyday. I was able to go grocery shopping, spend time with friends, and get to church this morning. God knew exactly what I needed before I asked him for it and provided more abundantly then my needs called for. He just poured out his love on me. Feeling BLESSED and LOVED greatly this week.  Philippians 4:19 And God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works fo...

As I begin to write this post, I am sitting here praying that God will guide me in the way that I should go. In December I will be done with graduate school and I must say, I am scared but excited at the same time. Scared for what may come next and  of the unknown. But also excited for whatever God has for me next and whatever job he leads me towards. In the midst of applying for jobs, looking for jobs, etc. A few weeks ago my roommate who is not only my roommate but my friend, has gotten a job somewhere else and will be moving out in January. I must say that when I found out, I was a little disappointed, sad, and frustrated that my circumstances were not what I wanted them to be, I found myself doubting that God has better plans for me than what I have for myself, and that he will work everything out. As I was in the middle of feeling let down, a friend reminded me that God has something better planned. Even though it may be difficult to see at the moment. I know this is tru...

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:7-9  Photo Credit Hillary Read 2 Corinthians 4:1-18   Even in the midst of the darkest circumstances God is good.  That is exactly what this passage tells us. And I love how that last part brings the point home... "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.   For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.   So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I have learned that even in my darkest places God's hope is there shining through, providin...

Trust in God's providence. It's really hard for me to trust in God's providence. Especially when my paycheck isn't bigger than my bills. Yet, God asks us to give the first 10% of what we have to him. This is to be are act of faith to demonstrate are trust in God and are reliance on him for everything that we have. But still I worry what will happen when I give that 10% and can't pay for everything else. But then I realize when I don't give that 10% and when I worry about not having enough, that i'm putting my trust in money and not in God, and that is a very dangerous thing to do my friends. Yet it is SO easy to do. Thus, when I find myself worrying about not having enough to make ends meet, I have to give it to God. Every time I doubt his providence for me I have to say, "Okay God, I trust you more than money which comes and goes because you I always have". Real life. Real bills. Real debt. It can be a harsh reality. But whe...

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.  Matthew 4:4 If you’re looking to dig deeper, you can find the original context of this verse here   Deuteronomy 8 The other night I watched an online church sermon that spoke to my heart in so many ways. Today Matthew 4:4 came to mind and I have to say that I have really been feeling that hunger for Jesus lately. I've been so hungry to understand him more, to seek what he wants from me.  This is one of the passages that was shared in that Sermon... Do you not know? Have you not heard? The  Lord  is the everlasting God,     the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary,     and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary     and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and wea...

Nehemiah 8:9-11 New International Version (NIV) 9  Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and teacher of the Law, and the Levites  who were instructing the people said to them all, “This day is holy to the  Lord  your God. Do not mourn or weep.” For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law. 10  Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing  prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy  of the  Lord  is your strength.” 11  The Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be still, for this is a holy day. Do not grieve.” Joy as strength? What an intriguing concept don't you think. Yet, how amazing is it to think about how the Joy of the Lord really is our strength. I have to be honest, a lot of times I find myself using my own strength. I utilize all of the tools in my bucket, sometimes it works pretty well, other times...