The Quiet Place

Living in the midst of pandemic is hard.  Tonight the Lord led me to read about Noah. And it made me think so much. Yes, a pandemic is difficult to live through, but imagine being Noah! He was THE only man on the earth that found favor with God. Imagine how hard it was for him to stay encouraged and not give up and give in to the ways of his culture and surrounding world. Imagine how difficult it was for him to remain obedient in the face of such backlash! I often picture Noah being called crazy and being cruelly mocked for his ways, especially when building the ark. I couldn’t imagine going through that! It would be SO difficult!  Then, even after all of that, he finds himself in a situation so grieve - worthy. Living on an ark in a ridiculously long storm, with imaginably smelly animals, while knowing everyone (minus his wife and children and their wives (praise God!)) he’s ever prayed for, hoped for, loved, was being washed away in judgement. What a great sad silence it mus...

Tonight I opened my Bible App up to this verse image.  This tugged at my heart because I have been hearing the pull and yearning of God calling me back to himself. I so desire to pour more of myself and my time into Jesus. Yet, I see how I fill my time with tasks and entertainment day after day. I see myself struggling to give God my time and full attention. Yet my desire for intimacy with my creator increases, eventually this desire does pull me into Jesus and his word. I’m thankful for that. Today for the first time in awhile I opened up His words, the words of my God and spent a little time with him. I’m glad I did that but even that time was interrupted by a phone call. Sometimes I look at everything happening and I look at myself and I feel so imperfect. I feel guilty for not managing my time better, for not being better with my finances, and for not giving God the time that somewhere deep in my heart I truly do want to give him. I just wish I could handle it all perf...

A few days ago I was on the phone with my Dad and he informed me that I couldn't come home for Easter. Because my mom's job has her helping distribute food to the community during this pandemic, she is not able to have contact with anyone who lives outside of her house. Unfortunately, that means me too. My heart sank a little when I realized not only could I not visit with my family and little nieces and nephew, I also would be completely alone in an empty, mostly packed up house for Easter. I knew it wasn't the end of the world, I had spent Easter away from my family before, but it's never been like this, it's never been completely alone. The world has never been quite like this before at all. Shut down, silent, on pause. If that wasn't enough for you already, I'm also being required to move from a place I've been living for the last almost 6 years, during this crazy, and those logistics sometimes feel like something entirely else on its own. BUT this ...

This is the question I heard God ask me when my circumstances changed and it didn't look like God's promises were going to be fulfilled. The truth is it's easy to say that we trust God but when opportunity presents itself, how do we really act? Do we crumble in fear and despair? Do we give up and "get over it"? Or Do we gather both sides of our dress in our hands and keep walking forward despite the deep mud because we know who are Father is and we know the promises that he has made us? The truly faithful option is to keep walking. That is true trust in God. True trust is fixing our eyes on Jesus and not on the events around us. True trust is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  In Joshua Chapter Three, the Israelites found themselves in an opportunity to trust God... Crossing the Jordan 3  Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before cro...

Lately God has been working on my heart in regards to fear and trust. Today we took my niece to the playground and I wanted to share some of my reflections on our time there today.   The BIG Blue Slide Today I went down the BIG Blue slide. It is the tallest and fastest slide at the playground. I went down the slide because I had been following my 4-year-old niece around and I didn't feel much like climbing back down the ladders we had climbed to get up to the top.  Partly because they didn't seem that easy to get back down (especially for an adult), and partly because the temperature outside was quickly approaching 90 degrees and it was easier to slide then climb back down in the heat. As I sat down at the top of the slide, I had no fear, but I wasn't too much in the mood to be sliding. So, reluctantly, I let go of the sides and pushed myself through the tunnel. What I didn't expect was to not like the slide so much that I let out a scream. Yes, you heard...

What does it mean to "take up your cross"? Well, I'm finding that taking up my cross means completely submitting to God. It means letting him cut all the things off of me that need to go. It also means obeying what God has asked of me and letting things go when He says "no, my daughter, this isn't for you". Each of these things are challenging in their own way. That last one though, that has been the hardest for me. Yet, in all of the pruning, the pulling out and cutting off; I am still grateful, and I am still blessed. I'm still grateful because I know that God disciplines those he loves, I know that when he disciplines me it's because I'm HIS daughter. I'm grateful because I know that the pain of the pruning leads to an abundant life. It leads to a better Hillary, a better follower of Christ, and a better kingdom builder. It brings God more Glory, and it fills me overflowing with His spirit of peace and joy.  Taking up my cross...

Trust. Trusting God. It's the easiest AND hardest thing to do. The easiest because I know of God's faithfulness in keeping His promises. I'm sure of what I hope for, and certain of what I do not yet see. It's the HARDEST thing for me to do because like many humans, I like to be in control of my circumstances and do anything in my power to shape them the way I want them to go. This in itself neither good nor bad, but when presented with a situation where I need to trust God, I have to keep myself in check. I have to ask myself, "Are you trusting God, or are you trying to control the situation?". It's easy to drive myself crazy analyzing what has occurred, trying to diagnose it like a mysterious disease. So, I can't go there. I have to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. I do this by keeping my mind stayed on his Word; reminding myself that His plans for me are good, that he can bring good out of all things, and that God works for the good of those who love him...