Singleness Series: Single and Seeking God

Founders Note: This post is apart of a month long series on singleness that we are doing here on the blog. If you would like to be apart it email britney.thequietplace@gmail.com for more information. This first post is by Kara of Joy because Grace  and she is sharing her heart on  being single and seeking God. 

Confession: I've been single my whole life.

Yup, you read that right. All of it. 20 years. No first date. No first time holding a guy's hand. Nada.

And it's been really hard. I've wondered if maybe something's wrong with me or if I'm not pretty enough or if maybe God just wants me to be single forever. Feelings of unworthiness would flood my heart and my mind, taunting me, causing me to doubt God's love.

Most of my single life I've been okay with my lack of relationship. When I was in high school, I didn't really want to date; I was too busy. However, when I graduated and went to my university, I expected that I would start dating right away, kind of like a reward for being "good" and not dating in high school.

No such luck.

So in the past two years that I've gone to college, I've struggled with being content in my state of singleness. I knew I should put God first, above my desire for a boyfriend, but it was just so hard!

I couldn't hear God telling me that He loved me. Sure, the Bible is God's love letter to us, but somehow I was missing that. My desire to have a boyfriend and to be loved by someone here on earth blinded me to the fact that Jesus loves me the most of everybody.

I began to read book after book about singleness and dating, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and trying to find some measure of hope that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't the problem.

I once listened to a podcast by Ben Stuart (of Texas A&M's Breakaway Ministry) in which he said something along the lines of "You're not ready to date until you're okay with not dating."

That one sentence became my lifeline. I knew I had to be content with my singleness first, before I could even think about dating. So, ironically, I became discontent with my lack of contentment.

I still didn't get it.

Finally, a golden ray of truth broke through the clouds of lies that had been swarming in my mind.

I wasn't made for this.

I wasn't created to be somebody's girlfriend and eventually a wife. I wasn't created to date or to be single.

I was made to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Jesus was who I was made for, not my future husband. My purpose is to glorify God and make Him known among the earth, whether I'm single, dating, or married.

My earthly relationship status isn't what matters, my heavenly one is what counts.

My heart was craving something I cannot find here on this earth. Unconditional love. Forever faithfulness. Someone I can talk to no matter what time of day or night it is. Someone who wants me just as I am, flawed and sinful.

The only one who matches all those qualities is the One who formed me when I was in my mother's womb. The One who thinks I'm amazing and who would die that I would live.

In the book of Revelation, John recorded that when Jesus comes back, He's coming to collect His Bride, the Church. And then there's going to be the most spectacular wedding of eternity.

If you are a follower of Jesus, I'm happy to tell you that you are engaged! When you invited Him into your life, you were saying "Yes" to His proposal. He gave you His Holy Spirit to seal you until He comes back for you (consider it like an engagement ring).

He continues to shower His love upon you and woo you. He sends you beautiful flowers in the spring, gorgeous leaves of every golden color in the fall, and paints you a masterpiece every evening and morning.

You and I are a part of the future Bride of Christ.

That is the only relationship that is going to endure forever.

So why do we stress about whether or not that cute guy will ever ask us out?

I'm not saying that God will never give us a boyfriend. Most likely He will, and someday we'll probably get married as well.

But what I am wondering is this: Why do we "cheat" on God by looking at this world to fulfill us?

God knows best. And if someday He has a guy on this earth for me, I will praise Him and thank Him. But even if He wants me to be "single" forever, I'll still praise Him, because it is because of Jesus that I'll never be alone.

"...for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." Deut. 31:6

Regardless of whether or not we someday date and get married, we should be using this time of singleness to draw near to the One who fills us.

In one of Paul's letter's to the city of Corinth, he urges the singles there not to waste this time but to rather draw closer to God during it. In fact, he says our focus should be undivided on the Lord.

"And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.  I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
-1 Corinthians 7:34-35

Undivided devotion to the Lord.

I want that.
When I die I want that said about me at my funeral: that I had undivided devotion to the Lord, first, above all other relationships here on this earth.

If you are a fellow single sister, I want to encourage you to seek after God with your whole heart. "Don't be anxious about anything," including your lack of relationship status (Phil. 4:6).

Kara is a Spanish education major who lives deep in the heart of Texas and loves Jesus, Disney movies, and blogging. Jesus is currently teaching her how to be content in every situation and how to surrender her singleness to Him. You can join in on her journey to contentment at joybecausegrace.com. You can also connect with Kara via Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.